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My Baby...

Here is the difference between my babies.

When my book baby goes out into the world, I have high hopes. I think, "Maybe people will love it! Maybe it will do well! Maybe this one will be the one that people talk about over dinner or think about long after they close it. Maybe . . ." And then the first reviews come in. And I start to hate it. I start to feel so ashamed of what I wrote. I start to think I am worthless, pathetic, no-talent, all those terrible things. I want to cut off all association to it, and want to never write again, never put anything of mine out in the world to be ripped apart like that.

My other babies, when they go out into the world, I have high hopes, too. I think, "Maybe they'll do amazing things! Maybe they'll be so wonderful that teachers will adore them and parents will wish their kids were like mine. Maybe . . . " And then I go and find out my kid had a potty accident. Or got put in time-out. And then . . .

Nothing changes. I still love them. I will never be ashamed of them. I will always want them in my life, and as much as possible.

And maybe I just need to concentrate on that right now. Because the other stuff, no matter how hard I try, is only making me feel worse and worse about myself. While my kids? No matter what they do, at the end of the day, they always make me feel better.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 29th, 2012 03:46 pm (UTC)
I like your books, Cyn :)
Mar. 30th, 2012 12:41 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Tessa! I am so glad!
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 30th, 2012 12:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Jenn, I hope to rediscover some of that joy, soon. Last time I lost it, I gave up writing for like, 10 years.
Mar. 30th, 2012 01:59 am (UTC)
Doesn't matter which baby goes out into the world, you still won't get a phone call ;)
Mar. 30th, 2012 12:42 pm (UTC)
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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